November 8, 2012

By: Andrea K. Robson

I watched the election, I did not go to bed; I couldn’t.  When the announcement came in from Fox News, and they made the call that Obama had indeed won re-election, it was an out-of-body experience, one I am very familiar with.

I lost my mother 6 years ago, this past September. It was a sudden and unexpected passing. She fell and broke her leg, and 8 days later she was gone. Standing outside that hospital room waiting for them to take her off the life support, was excruciating and an out-of-body surreal experience. I remember the pastor saying, your mother has taught you how to live, she has taught you how to love, and now she is teaching you how to die. I remember saying to the pastor, “I’d like to skip this life lesson please.” I just wanted to run, thinking that it was all a dream, and that I would wake up in my bed, and none of this would be real. The world as I knew it was coming to an end, nothing in my life would ever be the same again, how would I live in a world without my mother? How would I do that?

So I am having an out-of-body experience, trying to process what happened to our country Tuesday night. I am struggling with the death of America, much like I struggled with my mother’s passing.  How do I live in this foreign country? A country where there is no longer that sense of wonder, of achievement. Were you are punished for achievement, punished for pursuing the “American Dream!” Punished for striving to be the best you can be, and in so doing, affording others to jump on your wagon and come along for the ride! I sat there Tuesday night, and watched as America, the last best hope of the world, that shining city on the hill, was taken off life support, I felt that same familiar pang in the pit of my stomach, that same pang I felt waiting outside that hospital room, as mom was taken off life support.  Logically you get it, you understand what is happening, but you need someone, anyone to explain it to your heart!

People are saying, get over it, move on; let it go already! I remember how I felt when people came up to me after my mom passed away and would say “your mom is in a better place,” all I wanted to do when they said that was to punch them dead in their face! I did not care that my mother was in a better place, I wanted her here with me, alive!  I did not care that, that was what they thought was a comforting thing to say to me, or that they were trying to help me make sense of something that made absolutely no sense at all! And that is how I feel about it now, when anyone says to me, to get over it, to move on! I just want to punch them dead in their face! They obviously have no clue how deep this pain goes, and what was lost Tuesday night!  I wanted my mother with me, and right now, I want my country back!

No one can ever really understand the pain that never goes away, as you try to imagine how to carry on living your life without that person you loved so much, you don’t know how to begin. But through the grace of God slowly you begin to put one foot in front of the other, and the years pass and the pain recedes, but it never goes away. There are moments that still take your breath away, the words of a song, the smell of the crisp fall air, the scent of a perfume, a silly commercial on television, or just a thought of that person that quietly drifts into your mind can send you back to that place you thought you had left far behind.

No, it never really goes away, you learn to live with it, it defines you, it is now who you have become, stitched into the fabric of your being. All the days before melt away and all the days ahead begin from that dreadful day! All the days count from or lead up to that day. No, you cannot really understand that kind of pain, it is a private club, a club no one wants to join, but once a member, then you understand just how deep that pain that never goes away actually goes!

Watching the Death of one’s country, the most amazing country on the face of the earth, the only Republic on the face of the earth, watching that die, is much like watching a parent die, it is the most painful excruciating thing one can ever experience (other than perhaps the loss of a child). Either way, it sucks!  Realizing that over half your countrymen/women are takers, and idiots is another tough pill to swallow! So yes, I need some time to process this.

Copyright 2012


About andreakrobson

"Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers." ~ Isaac Asimov I am a strong, honorable, honest American G-Ma (grandmother), with a great sense of humor (seriously, you need a sense of humor these days!), who loves my country! I am concerned for my grandchildren's future, and the future of the Republic. I am a writer and blogger and my desire is to spread the truth! Welcome to my little corner of the WORLD!
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12 Responses to DEATH OF AMERICA

  1. Kathy W. Hawley says:

    How did we become friends on fb. I feel soo lucky and honored by your words. You words would be mine if only I were as articulate as you. Thank you for being my voice and helping me through this. God brought us together. Through Him and only Him can I go on.

  2. Andrea, much like you I have an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach, one that I have experienced when all my family was killed by a drunk driver. My wife, my young daughter and my young son, gone and I was no where near to help them. I was stationed in Viet Nam and I received the news from my Chaplain and it seemed so unreal! Trying to make sense of the loss of my family took me through a valley of despair and depression that lasted for years. My immediate family was the only source of help that helped me recover and go on with life. The loss of our country has only made me want to do my best to recover the life and times that were once our American way of life. I will continue to write letters to my congressmen and call for the impeachment of obama for the crimes he has committed during his almost four years in office. I will not stop until he is removed from office! God Bless you, America and all Americans!

  3. Wendy Dabish says:

    Beautiful written and right from your heart!!! I am so very sad about your mother. I can’t imagine it. My Mom is almost 80 and I am scared. I lost my Dad and the loss never goes away. The edges get a little softer. I never tell people “they are in a better place.” Hey! They liked going to the lake and family gatherings too!!! I never thought about the comparison to losing a loved one and Tuesday!!!! It is so true!!! It is like watching a loved one dying a slow, painful and agonizing death. There is an antedote and a Doctor. They throw the antedote down the drain and bring in Kervorkian. I love ya sis!!!!!

  4. Glenn Turner says:

    Andrea, it is diffcult to find anything positive that came out of this election, and that is very disheartening. Our country will never be the same. Those who come after us will never know how great she was. The one positve thing for me was the way in which Mitt Romney ran his campaign. A man of great intellect and character showed the nation what a true statesman is supposed to be. I think he would have made a great President.

  5. Jen says:

    Mom, your words are extremely touching and difficult at the same time. I am very saddened by the loss of OUR beautiful country. I don’t recognize her anymore and can’t fathom how distorted our future will become. I am frightened at the prospect that my daughter will never know the great nation we all once knew and cherished. That she will not know what it truly means to be FREE. I am angered that so many of our countrymen are so blind and have taken these freedoms for granted (honestly, all of us have taken them for granted). We have allowed ourselves to be infiltrated, undermined, and hijacked by people who hunger for power, despise strength and prosperity, and do not believe in personal accountability. Now let’s talk about my grandmother. My G-ma was a wonderful woman who embodied everything that is good, and decent, and moral. Her strength was equaled by none! She had such charisma and fortitude! There will never be another like her, much like OUR great nation. Both extraordinary ladies will be dearly missed! 😥 I love you Mommy!

  6. Great commentary. I’ll be following your work. It was a tough night for me too.



  7. Chrsitine White says:

    I stumbled across your site because it’s being passed around Facebook by Conservatives everywhere – I wanted you to know that first of all. Secondly, I stood here and cried as I read your words. I cried for the immense pain of loss I feel for our country and the fact that so few understand this loss anymore – that so many think I’m the idiot for feeling this way nowadays. That people and family and friends that I once thought felt the same as I have gone off the deep end and “swim with the sharks” so to speak. I cry because my mother is the one person I call every day – she’s my best friend, my confidant, the person I bounce all my political thoughts and comments off of each and every day. She’s the one that brought me back into the fold politically and I thank God for her.Thank you for sharing your feelings. I think more people need to hear this and I’ll share this so others can do the same. Your daughter’s post made me cry as well by the way! 🙂 You’ve obviously done a wonderful job raising your family to love God and Country! I wish more were like you 🙂

  8. Kisha says:

    Amen sister! Everyone keeps saying fight! Well I’ll fight when we can all stand together and do this with a real winning solution behind us. Something is going to give. One way or another. Either we will lose America forever. Or we will prevail. Time can only tell. I really love reading your thoughts. Your an amazing gal and I am feeling so blessed that I know you at least here on facebook. God Bless you and I stand with you any day of the week! Your heart is one that is pure, and is just like mine. We cannot fathom the horrors that is allowed to stand in this world. And it breaks our hearts, deeply and to the core!

  9. Brian Dodds says:

    Even though I,m a brit, when I woke up and saw the result my stomach knotted up and my heart sank, the last great bastion of freedom is dying, where it goes from here is in the hands of a far higher authority. I will pray with all my strength that the country comes to it,s senses and removes that evil bunch of criminals from the White House, great article Andrea, written from the heart, well done.

  10. Jan says:

    I had just finished a post, but accidentally deleted it. I’m new to your blog, Andrea, and glad to have found you. I follow The Lonely Conservative, and you guys both have great blogs! I can’t stand the way obama’s followers practically fall at his feet to worship the ground he walks on. He is satan’s spawn. Why can’t they see that? I don’t believe that 52% of the people voted for him on their own doing. I believe they were brainwashed! They’re all about “give me this, give me that, gimme gimme gimme, but don’t make me work for it.” Also, obama is the most racist president this country has ever known. He says Mitt is a racist. That’s a lie. Mitt wanted nothing more than to bring this country back together.

    I agree with all of you here tonight who have written the stories of your own loved ones who have passed away. My family lost my precious 17 year old nephew 3 years ago in a motor vehicle crash. He was the most wonderful kid I’ve ever known. I still can’t talk about him without crying. Well, this Tue. I actually felt that same gut-wrenching, heart-pounding grief at the news of the results. It felt like a death in the family all over again. The death of a country, my beloved country. Just today I’m finally able to go a whole day without crying.

    Where do we go from here? How do we get through the next 4 years? Will there even be an election in 4 years? What about taking over the senate in 2014? Is that possible?

  11. Xavier Salaam says:

    I, for one, would never tell you or anyone else who feels this way to get over it and move on.

    In fact, I sincerely hope you don’t get over, and just stay angry for the next 4 years because Barack Hussein Obama is President and now there’s nothing you can do about it. 🙂

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